Eric was catching up with my recent blogs the other day. I wonder sometimes how other couples deal with blogging. Do you tell your sweetie the moment you post some witty insight ("Hey hon, come check this out") or a recounting of an event you both attended ("I need some fact-checking here!")? Or do you wait til they stumble on it in their own time? If you talk about someone online, do you ask their approval beforehand, or do you wait until you've posted and then alert them? I imagine there's a lot of new business in counseling these days to help people sort out their issues with sharing - not the old-fashioned kind between two people, but rather sharing with the world in general, especially when it might be things you haven't gotten around to talking about at home yet.
I'm often a little shy in front of Eric about what I write, mostly because I think he is such a fine writer himself and I would want him to like what I write. When he was looking at the last month or two of posts, I was reading over his shoulder and I noticed a few bad habits in my writing.
One is my overuse of the word "just", as in "they were just the worst band I've ever seen." A pretty useless word, "just", when trotted out constantly to somehow soften or make judgements and statements less definitive. (There's another word I overuse - "somehow". Same as "just", I use it to back off a little from whatever it is I'm saying.)
Another word I abuse is "adorable." Yuck! This has to stop immediately.
But my worst bad habit is one I've been guilty of for a long time, in my songwriting as well. And sure enough, with Eric's laser vision focused on my writing, it came clearly into focus. I accentuate the negative way too much. For example, why, when I wrote about the neighbor's get-together, did I have to turn it into a post about my lack of French skills? I have clearly made progress with the language from last year. Several of the neighbors made a point of telling me so! But in order to someh- (shit...see what I mean?) put a cap on the writing, to make it all fit together, I grabbed a convenient "hook" - and in my case the hook is usually something to do with me not being able to get it together.
So I'm doing some writing practice now that involves not falling into default self-flagellation mode. It's going to be hard. No, let me rephrase that. It's going to be a wonderful challenge, one that I'm looking forward to very much. From now on, or rather for as long as I can stand it, I'm going to see if I can tell a story without the woeful attitude. Call me Glass-Half-Full Girl.
10 comments:
I like the "or rather for as long as I can stand it..."
You're still a young lass, but your project is a wonderful prep for turning 50 when it comes. We half-centenarians (I'll be turning the double nickel - 55 - in November) got no time for self-flagellation. Rejoice.
Either way you tell it, you're a fine writer.
Amy, I love your attitude - it's what makes me come to your concerts, play your records and read your blog. Hey, you're perfect, don't ever change!
A fan called Sue xx
If you have a good hook to round off a post, use it! Sometimes they might be self deprecatory...I do that from time to time...it doesnt mean we have low self esteem... you'd just get fed up reading about how wonderful I was all the time, wouldnt you?...oops, and I use "just" a lot as well
Somehow I think this post is just adorable. See what I did? hee hee.
I like self-deprecating. Makes the rest of us feel it's ok to be equally unimpressed by ourselves.... ;-)
My husband doesn't read my blog..he doesn't really have time and he finds the whole blogging thing really weird. He's pretty private so he would never post stuff out for the world but I really grew up with the medium, I've been blogging in different ways since about the age of 15 or so, so I'm pretty comfortable with it. I remember a work colleague of mine was shocked when she found out I had met a fellow female traveler for a coffee in Paris that I met through the internet. She scolded me saying it was strange and that her kids would never do a thing like that. Um...whatever! Anyway, totally off the wrong tangent...
Anyway, so I think it's good to have a bit of a divide between the blog world and real life though sometimes...like I think if one ever got to the point where you were writing veiled posts trying to send a message to a particular person in your life instead of just flat out talking to them about it, then it's going a bit far?
Haha, its a strange thing to think about, as far as the blogging vs. conversation thing goes. I find myself sometimes just repeating things I've already talked to Jamey about, but then going into more detail, spilling some of the silly junk that I think she probably doesn't care about in the blogs. Then, she can read it later and it just seems like she's hearing it all again for the first time because its so full of extra nonsense. Actually, I was just blogging something earlier and she was waiting to read it, but finally had to just give up and go to bed because I wasn't done writing and revising it...
Anyway! Enjoying the blog, Amy! Your writing is just fine and dandy as is.
-r
G-H-F Girl: On a long drive home yesterday, I had the mp3 player on shuffle. "Cynically Yours" was followed by "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner". Any good Zevon stories you can share while the glass is still half full?
Murat - it's close, I turn 50 in January! So maybe that's why it feels right?
Sue, that's nice of you. You reminded me of that song, one of my favorites, I played it the other night for the first time in months...
Rosie, self-deprecation is what to aim for I guess, rather than the beating oneself up kind.
TBNIL, spoken like a true Brit!
Le Tigre & Robbie it is really interesting to me to know what it's like for other couples, with the blogging. It's hilarious in a way the thought of a loved one standing by, waiting for us to write up an account of something experienced together.
Carl you've got me thinking about WZ...and a friend just recommended Stephen Talkhouse on Long Island as a possible venue. He hated that place! he was in a foul mood about having to play there, until I complimented him on his shoes. He lit up! "Prada. You like em?" It cracked me up that mr. tough guy was so into fashion...
My partner maintains an amiable indifference to my blog and to my writing in general. I think she's quite glad I do it because she sees it as indication of continuing creativity and because we play in a band together that's got to be a good thing! But poetry's for wusses and is a poor creative substitute for the visual art at which she excels. All of which acts as a highly effective control mechanism, preventing me from disappearing too far up my own fundamental orifice!
Sorry, but you did ask...
I'm a little late to the comment party (the story of my life) but I don't tell my sweetie when I'm updating my blog. I think, most of the time, he knows anyway because I'm sitting on the couch, pounding out an entry on my laptop. But I did yell at him yesterday because he hadn't updated his blog in over two weeks. I don't know why it matters -- it's not like we don't live in the same house and, for the most part, go to the same events and...ya know...talk about them later. But it does matter.
We typically don't ask each other for permission to blog anything -- but there have been times we've told the other one that they're not allowed to blog something.
Keep writing -- glass half-empty or half-full. It's great either way.
Post a Comment